• Coach Julia

Got Forgiveness ?

As we end the year... it's time to reflect.

Reflection is important to assess what worked, what didn't and also to review what could be done differently. Reflection for me includes a Self Check One big point of reflection is in the area of forgiveness.

Am I holding anyone Hostage with Unforgiveness?

What I know for sure (in My Oprah voice) Forgiveness is not for the other person – Forgiveness is for you., When you can't forgive or won't forgive – you are holding yourself hostage – not the other person.

We will focus our discussion on the following areas:

# Forgiving yourself/others

# The Unforgiveness Dilemma

Don’t wait until someone is Dead to forgive them.

Make peace now so you can move forward!

As you read this blog – ask yourself is there a person or persons you have not forgiven ? (That person could be living or dead or someone you haven't even met)

Ask yourself –

· Who are you Angry with? Why?

· Who has offended You?

· Have you dealt with the offense?

Matthew 14-15 (AMP) “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.”

This scripture reminds us that forgiveness for the believer is not optional... Forgiveness is necessary. Unforgiveness keeps you stuck... You can't move forward – you don't want to go backward – you are stuck in a holding pattern.

“Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it.

Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world?

Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that can never be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never

deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?

All this forgiveness offers you. “- A Course in Miracles

“It’s a Terrible thing to live with regret but even worse to die with it”

Forgiveness is a recurring theme not just in my life. We all make mistakes we are human. There may be times when it seems everyone is offending you... You have a choice You can stay in the agony of Unforgiveness or you can choose to release the pain and the person.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”

― Corrie Ten Boom

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.- Steve Maraboli

It Is not always cut and dry. Sometimes (most times ) Forgiveness can be messy There are three sides to every story – yours, theirs, and the truth.

Facing the fact that forgiveness is something YOU need is the first step in the process. Convincing the other person (people) to forgive you – may not be that easy. If the other person involved is not ready to forgive you is something you must be okay with. Your journey is about living the best life possible. Releasing yourself from the weight and responsibility of other peoples actions and thoughts is a HUGE step towards freedom for you.

1. I must forgive them (him /her/ yourself)

2. Then I will be a different person

Unforgiveness changes our personality

Unforgiveness changes our ability to love people

God Never gives us permission not to forgive – regardless of what that person has done to us!

Now – let's talk about Unforgiveness

Unforgiveness in any area or toward any person in our past creates torment in our lives

Matthew 18:22 -Jesus says to forgive seventy times seven (Also Read -Matthew 18:23-35)

We were never created to be a repository for anger

Anytime we take anger into the next day , we are in sin

(Read- Ephesians 4:26-27)

When there is Unforgiveness and bitterness in our lives, it bottles up inside and causes us all kinds of problems

Signs of Unforgiveness

1. Negative talk or gossip

2. Broken relationships

3. Hostility

4. Depression (Clinical definition is anger turned inward) Unforgiveness is one of the most self destructive things we will ever do.....

5. Negative talk or gossip

As I wrap up this discussion

Four points to think about :

1. I must realize I will never be free until I forgive

2. I must realize forgiveness is not about them but me

3. I must forgive them (him /her/ yourself)

4. Then I will be a different

Unforgiveness changes our personality

Unforgiveness changes our ability to love people

The Choice is yours. I cannot make you do anything. We all have Free-Will

(Freedom of Choice). As you read this Blog Again, ask the Holy Spirit to show you where to begin with your Forgiveness Journey.

As always- I'm committed to Pray for you and with you. Have a Wonderful Christmas and & Prosperous 2020. Blessings to you & yours!! Pastor Julia